Diary of A Wimpy Kid: Bionicle Version!
by Slashcat65
Summary: Being a Matoran can really stink, and no one knows this better than Takua. But between all the humiliation at school and with his family, Takua becomes an unlikely hero. Parody of Diary of A Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT own any of the characters that you see in this story or any of the events. This is simply just a parody to be read for your enjoyment.

Diary of A Wimpy Kid: Bionicle Version!

**Introduction: **If you've read _Diary of A Wimpy Kid_ by Jeff Kinney, then you'll probably know most of the events which are about to happen. Anyways, here's what this story is about:

Being a Matoran can really stink. And no one knows this better than Takua, who finds himself thrust into Matoran middle school, where undersized Ta-Matoran share the hallways with other Matoran who are taller, meaner, and already shaving their masks.

Kind of interesting, huh? So here's a run-down of all the characters:

Greg Heffley- Takua

Rodrick Heffley- Jaller

Manny Heffley- Halli

Mom- Gali

Dad- Tahu

Rowley Jefferson- Puka

Fregley- Pooki

And more characters to come!

A/N: Hehe, this is really just a parody of _Diary of A Wimpy Kid _by Jeff Kinney. Anyways, I hope you find this interesting, and if you have any suggestions, you can always email me.


	2. Chapter 2: School starts!

Hello again! This is chapter 1 of Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Bionicle Version. In this chapter we introduce Takua's situation and some of his friends and family. But it looks like things have already started to take a turn for the worst this year. Can Takua hope to survive?

**DISCLAIMER: **I do NOT own any of the characters or events in this story. All material seen here belongs to their respected owners.

Chapter 1: Tuesday, September 4th

**Takua's POV:**

First of all, let me get something straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Gali went out to buy this I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say "diary" on it.

Great. All I need id for some jerk to catch me carrying this book around and

get the wrong idea. (Enters unusually big Po-Matoran. Po-Matoran: "Sissy!" *gives Takua a wedgie*)

The other thing I want to clear up right away is that this was GALI's idea, not mine.

But if she thinks I'm going to write down my "feelings" in here or whatever, she's crazy. So just don't expect me to be all "Dear Diary" this and "Dear Diary" that.

The only reason I agreed to do this at all is because I figure later on when I'm rich and famous, I'll have better things to do than answer Matorans' stupid questions all day long. ( Random Ta-Matoran: "Takua! Tell us about your childhood!" Random Ga-Matoran: "Were you ALWAYS so smart and handsome?" Me: "Here's my journal. Now shoo, shoo.")

Like I said, I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in Matoran middle school with a bunch of morons.

(Morons sign directed at two 6-feet tall Onu-Matoran drooling)

Let me just say for the record that I think Matoran middle school is the dumbest idea ever invented by the Turaga. You got Matoran like me who haven't become Toa yet mixed in with these Rakshi who need to kill Visorak twice a day. ( 6-foot tall Ta-Matoran: "Outta my way, runts!" *pushes over two normal-sized Le-Matoran.*)

And then the Turaga and Toa wonder why bullying is such a big problem in Matoran middle school.

If it was up to me, grade levels would be based on height, not age. But then again, I guess that would mean Matoran like Hafu would still be in Matoran grade 1. ( 1-foot tall Po-Matoran struggling to reach the chin-up bar in MPE.)

Today is the first day of school, and right now we're just waiting around for Professor Tuyet to hurry up and finish our seating chart. So I figured I might as well write in this book to pass the time.

By the way, let me give you some real good advice. On the first day of school, you got to be real careful where you sit. You walk into a classroom and just plunk your stuff down on any old desk and the next thing you know Professor Tuyet or whatever teacher is saying- "I hope you all like where you're sitting, because these are your PERMANENT seats." (Me: "GAAH!" *Two six-feet tall drooling Onu-Matoran sitting in front of me and behind me*)

So in this class, I got stuck with Aiyetoro in front of me and Nuparu in back of me.

Onepu came in late and almost sat to my right, but luckily I stopped that from happening at the last second. ( Onepu: "Is this seat taken?" Me: "YES! YES!")

Next period, I should just sit in the middle of a bunch of cute Ga-Matoran as soon as I step in the room. But I guess if I do that, it just proves that I didn't learn anything from last year. (Amaya: "Takua, will you please pass this note to Macku?" Me: "Why, CERTAINLY! Heh, heh. Note: Takua is a chronicler dork.)

Mata Nui, I don't know WHAT is up with Ga-Matoran these days. It used to be a whole lot simpler back in Matoran elementary school. The deal was, if you were the best Kohli player in your class, you got all the Ga-Matoran.

And in Matoran grade 5, the best Kohli player was Makani. (Ga-Matoran swooning over Makani's goals.)

Nowadays, it's a whole lot more complicated. Now it's about the kind of mask power you have or how good your carving skills are or if you have a cute butt or whatever. And Matoran like Makani are scratching their heads wondering what the heck happened.

The most popular Matoran in my grade is Brander. The thing that really stinks is that I have ALWAYS been into Ga-Matoran, but other Matoran like Brander have only come around in the last couple of years.

I remember how Brander used to act back in elementary school. *FLASHBACK: Brander: "Ga-Matoran are stinky Rahi!" Brander's friend Kapura: "Yeah!" Me: "**I** don't think Ga-Matoran are stinky Rahi!" END FLASHBACK*

But of course now I don't get any credit for sticking with the Ga-Matoran all the time.

Like I said, Brander is the most popular Matoran in our grade, so that leaves all the rest of us Matoran scrambling for the other spots.

The best I can figure is that I'm somewhere around 52nd or 53rd most popular this year. But the good news is that I'm about to move up one spot because Kantai is above me, and he has to go on a mission with Kopaka next week.

I try to explain all this popularity stuff to my friend Pewkuu (who is probably hovering around the 150 mark, by the way), but I think it goes in one ear and out the other with her.

A/N: So was it good, okay, bad, terrible? Please let me now. As a side note, in case you're wondering what the brackets around the actions are for, it's because in the real "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" it has cartoons in it. So I'm just using the brackets to substitute for the pictures. Well, as always I hope you enjoyed reading and have a good day!


	3. Chapter 3: the Vakhi Touch

Hello again! Firstly, I'd like to thank the user **Galadriadhar **for being the first reviewer! Feedback is always appreciated, so please keep up with the reviews! And now on to our story...........

**DISCLAIMER:** Once again, I **DO NOT **own any characters or concepts. They all belong to their respected owners.

Chapter 2: Wednesday, September 5th

**Takua's POV:**

Today we had Phys Ed, so the first thing I did when I got outside was sneak off to the Kohli Field to see if the Vakhi skull was still there. And sure enough, it was. (*Enters shot on a rotting Vakhi skull*)

That Vakhi skull has been sitting on the field since last year. I guess it must've dropped out of Turaga Whenua's pocket when he was archiving or something. After a couple of days, the skull started getting all moldy and nasty. Nobody would play Kohli on the field where the skull was, even though that was the only field that had decemt goaltender posts.

Then one day, this Po-Matoran named Kodan touched the Vakhi skull with his finger, and that's what started this thing called the Vakhi Touch. It's basically like cooties. If you get the Vakhi Touch, you're stuck with it until you pass it on to someone else. (*Le-Matoran screaming and running away from grinning Po-Matoran*)

The only way to protect yourself from the Vakhi Touch is to cross your fingers.

But it's not that easy remembering to keep your fingers crossed every moment of the day. I ended up taping mine together so they'd stay crossed all the time. I got a D in scrollwriting, but it was totally worth it.

This one Le-Matoran named Tamaru got the Vakhi Touch in April, and no one would even come near him for the rest of the year. This summer Tamaru moved away to the Tren Krom Peninsula and took the Vakhi Touch with him.

I just hope someone doesn't start the Vakhi Touch up again, because I don't need that kind of stress in my life anymore.

**A/N: **Well, what do you think of it? As always, more reviews would be appreciated. P.S. In case you wanted to know what the Vakhi skull touch was in the original Diary of a Wimpy Kid, it was a moldy piece of cheese. WHAT THE HECK?! A piece of cheese?! That's really it! I know! Anyways, see you around folks!


	4. Chapter 4: Pranked and not happy!

Here's the next chapter! Sorry for the long wait guys, but it was a long time before I got my hands on a copy of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid", which is the book this story is parodying. So anyway, it's March Break now! So I'll be able to update more frequently for this story. So, in this chapter Jaller pulls a prank on poor Takua. Looks like more trouble for our mild-mannered Av-Matoran in disguise!

**DISCLAIMER:** I **DO NOT **own Bionicle or Diary of a Wimpy Kid. All material you recognize as canon belongs to their respected owners.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Bionicle Version!

Thursday ,September 6th

**TAKUA'S POV:**

I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.

My summer did not exactly get off to a great start, thanks to my older brother Jaller.

A couple of days into summer vacation, Jaller woke me up in the middle of the night. He told me I slept through the whole summer, but that luckily I woke up just in time for the first day of school. (Me: Shoot. *Jaller grins evilly*)

You might think I was pretty dumb for falling for that one, but Jaller was wearing his captain of the guard uniform and he set my alarm stone ahead to make it look like morning. Plus, he closed my curtains so I couldn't see that it was still dark out.

After Jaller woke me up, I just got dressed and went downstairs to make myself some breakfast, like I do every morning on a school day.

But I guess I must have made a pretty big racket because the next thing I knew, Tahu was downstairs, yelling at me for eating Rakhshios at 3:00 in the morning. (Tahu: Wtf!?!? *Belts out a bunch of swear words* Me: What the heck is going on?)

It took me a minute to figure out what the heck was going on.

After I did, I told Tahu that Jaller had played a trick a trick on me, and HE was the one that should be getting yelled at.

Tahu walked down to the basement to chew Jaller out, and I tagged along. I couldn't wait to see Jaller get what was coming to him.

But Jaller covered up his tracks pretty good. And to this day, I'm sure Tahu thinks I've got a loose Kanohi or something. (*Jaller sleeping peacefully in bed* Tahu: Hmmm.....*eyes narrow towards Takua* Me: Hehe?)

A/N: Well, looks like Takua's getting blamed for a crime he didn't commit. But don't worry, he'll get his moment of glory eventually! Thanks for the reviews, and more will be welcomed!


	5. Chapter 5: Gifted or just Easy?

Hey everyone! It was April Fool's Day a few days ago, so I sure hope you had your share of pranking! Anyway, in this chapter Takua faces but yet another great disappointment. How does he handle it? Read to find out!

**DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT own Diary of A Wimpy Kid or Bionicle. All material seen here belongs to their respected owners.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Bionicle version! Chapter 4

Friday, September 7th

**TAKUA'S POV:**

Today at school we got assigned to translating groups.

The Turaga don't come right out and tell you if you're in the Gifted group or the Easy group, but you can figure it out right away by looking at the surfaces of the translating stones they hand out. (*Gifted stones cover: Lhikan as a Matoran* *Easy stones cover: Muaka says BOO*)

I was pretty disappointed to find out I got put in the Gifted group, because that just means a lot of extra work.

When they did testing at the end of last year, I did my best to make sure I got put in the Easy group this year. (Me: This says symbol says fa-i-reye??? Professor Tuyet: It says fire. Me: Whew. Thanks!)

Gali is real tight with the principal, Ms. Helryx, so I'll bet she stepped in and made sure I got put in the Gifted group again.

Gali is always saying I'm a smart Matoran, but that I just don't "apply" myself.

But if there's one thing I learned from Jaller, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all. (Tahu: Jaller, I want your dirty Kohli stick off the kitchen table before I get home from fighting the Piraka. Jaller: *Grunts* Later............. Tahu:*smiles happily and sees that Kohli stick is gone* Jaller: *Rolls eyes*)

Actually, I'm kind of glad my plan to get put in the Easy group didn,t work.

I saw a couple of the "Muaka says Boo" Matoran holding their stones upside down, and I don't think they were joking.

A/N: Well................it looks like something finally sorta went right for our Chronicler! Thanks for the reviews, and keep' um coming!


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